I feel crazy Lord

What are you doing to me? To my life?

Everything is very uncomfortable

And out of place

Give me the intuition to understand what you want

A glimpse of what is coming

That I may envision my course

………

I want to love you

AGAIN

I know not to give excuses for our fallout

Because I know what I have been, mostly

But you know me better

You understand the skewedness of my thoughts

The shrewdness of my actions

And the lack of faith prodding my heart everyday

Lord, you get the lies in my feeble impatient pulse

When my eyes lack foresight

You are here to remind me to focus on revamping

My soul and tending to my spirit

To nourish everything the world keeps taking

…….

I just have one question,

……

Lord where is my blessing?

Why are you taking long to deliver it?

Are you looking for a special herb to spice up my special blessing?

You Reign Over Several Realms Lord

Surely a simple spice cannot just escape you

Or are you too busy blessing others?

If so, that’s fantastic, bless all peoples

Take time to alleviate their suffering

And

Before you close shop tonight

I need you to remember me too

……..

You say that good things come to those who patiently wait in line

I am done waiting.

I am skipping to the front of the line

So find whatever ingredient that is missing from my special mix

…….

Quickly

……

Add it.

Make it work

Because I want my blessing now.

Today!

HE MUST KNOW BETTER

Every time i have made a specific request to the Lord, He has always granted it to me only to take it away in due course. Nothing ever sticks and through the years i have been tempted to despair and rant to him with notions such as: “Where  does He hide my blessings? Why He continues to delay to show His mighty hand in my life!

Maybe, just maybe, He is blessing other people who need Him more urgently. Or, He is just not ready for me. Or His calendar does not rhyme with my forced immediate needs. Either way, I cannot rationalize my current predicament/situation.

So as we concluded 2015, I made a pact with him to NEVER EVER ask Him for anything but to thank Him for everyday that He sees it fit to wake me up and give me something small to work on like watching over my son (my number one “in-love”), my super awesome family, small projects, internship and blogging (counting my blessings huh) for He must know better.

 

 

 

 

Imagine If She Was Black

 

IMAIGNE

“Huyu msichana angekuwa mweupe tu kidogo angekuwa mrembo sana”

Loosely translates to “this girl would be more beautiful if she was lightskin”.

Some black brother whose skin had a generous serving of black next to blue said that with a sincere heart while holding my passport photo at some PhotoStudio in town.
On noticing that I was standing right next to him, the brother was apologetic with
“Oh, I dint mean it like that”
A very pathetic excuse at his obvious personal preference of lightskinned over darks skinned girls.
I giggled quietly without saying a word and let him steam in his discomfort as he continued rumbling an overextended apology on what he probably perceived to be a racist slurr.
This a tad bit funny to me as I totally understand personal preferences versus racist tendencies when it comes to one’s choice of partners. Personally, I adore and love tall, dark chocolate and chubby men and I really hope that I don’t project any form of dislike to our white chocolate brothers.

As I walked away I was honestly intrigued and perturbed and mildly irritated and amused and agitated.
This incident reminded me of when my overly lightskin/pointee girlfriend and I were at some shoe shop in Westy trying out shoes and the attendant blatantly told her…
“Your skin is making the shoe pop. Can we have a picture for our Facebook page”.
And I just stood there with my dark chocolatey self grinning through my teeth; wincing and quietly looking at my feet in a pair of exquisite heels in the mirror. I could have asked myself a myriad of life changing questions while weighing my options on how to handle such difficult moments of being a black girl but opted to buy my shoes and saunter out of the establishment like a stubborn black Madonna.
Which brings me to the never-ending online attack on black sisters by their black brothers. It is intriguing to say the least how a man whose mother, sisters, cousins and a score of female relatives are all black would be so shortsighted and irate enough to be the gangleader of a hash tag such as #ImagineIfSheWasLightskin and tagging photos of gorgeous dark skinned women. And then tables turn and the same brother churns out daughters as darkskinned as himself; he changes heart to #BlackIsBeautiful. No my friend, please be consistent with your nuances, notions and ludacriosity. Pick a struggle and stay with it to the end.

We are too insensitive as a black nation!

I wish we could stop black shaming. Some girls are not strong enough to be with it hence the increased use of skin whitening creams and supplements like glutathione.
Those who can have to develop thick skin to such delirious skin color comments from a multitude of brothers among other social problems. 😕
I wish we could change our conversations to whether black or white; we are all humans who deserve respect and loyalty and love and kindness.
This is stretching it but can we have questions like “Imagine if she was black” being asked too.

The Tyranny of Connectivity

How safe are your gadgets and accounts? The recent increased connectivity of gadgets to online systems and social media accounts is becoming risky and insecure.

I shudder at the thought of what could happen if someone hacked one or two passwords of the gadgets in my possession.
In this era when one has a phone, tab, iPad, MacBook, Desktop and Laptop with all logged into numerous social media accounts like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, Tumbler, Pintrest, Path: social media third party accounts like Socioompah, HooteSuite, Twicca, Buffer; blog sharing sites like Inc, Mashable, Reddit, Quora, buzzfeed, Forbes; online money transfer sites like paypal and bitcoin and job application sites; it is impossible to have a unique password for each. Add blue tooth pairing and cloud storage and the dynamics of private data exchanging with wrong hands is quite abounding.

Personally, I prefer having the same password for all to avoid using the “Forgot your password tab” every time I have to log into my accounts. In fact, I always opt to stay logged in, in all my accounts. (Oh boy, I just made the work of one hacker pretty ABC-ish! *Sigh )
God forbid that anyone should steal any of my gadgets with intent to harm me. Finished will be an understatement!

In addition, most households have their gadgets connected to one router whose password is not entirely rocket science  for a seasoned hacker! It is worrying given that this is the information age and if any private details leak out; your goose is done.
Scary, huh?
Something needs to be done about securing connectivity lest incidences of identity theft rise even more.

COLOURISM EXPLAINED

Once upon a time, an inferior colorless race lived in Africa. So taunted and discriminated by their superiors was this group of humans thought of as low-lying and inept. They that had no color; looking like skinless red beef when the sun blazed and as white as bloodless chicken when cold were common slaves. The low tier and end of the food chain vagabonds that were mistreated because of lack of color.

These people whose value was as useless as a previous night’s soup remains tended to every needs of the black man. From fetching water from far off rivers, grazing cattle, tending chicken, tilling farms planted with sorghum, millet, sweet potatoes and cassava; and generally serving every whim of their masters.

A people that could not withstand the rule of wish-wash black men; the pesky cold heartedness of their masters; the harshness of awkwardly naked and petty mistresses opted to flee from the sun’s heat and all the tyranny of a rather impetuous and chin-up regime to find solace elsewhere

In their broken spirits; twisted humanity and crushed souls, the villains vowed to be back when stronger, faster and better. (Much like the Vampire creation story meant to thwart the superiority of werewolves).

They vowed to make ground-breaking inventions that would lessen their suffering. Superior artillery to fight wars; very elaborate water and gas systems; exquisite houses; faster automobiles that could outride horses and the most important was clothes to make their appearance easy to the eye.

Indeed, their resolve to shun everything theit masters ate had them shunning crops indigenous to Africa like sorghum whose nutritive value was on point.

Making peace with their past was not an option. Their former masters had to pay for all the disgrace and every drop of blood wasted on this land.

Sitting callously in the cold North and brewing all form of hate, the former slaves made their stealth plan to revenge. Okay, maybe a few select felt the need to forgive (the favored ones) and thought that a bible and good religion will cure their thirst for blood. But the rest felt the need to wield superior weapons and really punish their former masters.

The path back to Africa had been lost to the guild of men seeking for retribution for years. Exploration trips took them to lands like the Americas that had zero black men. In, their rage, the white men wiped out the Indians because in their sickened hate, they felt that the incoherent Indians did not offer up the Africans for execution.

One day, out of the clear blue skies, a rather opportune moment presented itself to an unbeknownst explorer. This man, Gama, was minding his business trying to reach the farthest corner of our round earth. His sails couldn’t withstand the strong pounding winds of the North East Trade Winds nor could it journey ahead. The force must have been strong within him as he was the first to survive the winds and lucky for his ship decked on flawless sea ports of North Africa and alas, there were the Africans still running around with butts hanging out and naked sagging breasts begging to be touched.

Still undeveloped was the dark-continent in every bit imaginable. Indeed, he could not spot a single advancement in warfare, architecture and construction, food technology, art, crafts, religion, music and refined culture. After taking note of his observations, he rushed back home to inform his people of his discoveries.

The avengers were ready in days to sail and exact their punishment on the black people. They tricked the religious derelicts to lead the way. Give the Africans the bible and teach them the way of truth and life. In their treachery, the avengers swore to be believers and converted to all sorts of religion. The Africans having lost memory of past contact with the band of thieves accepted the faith with hands open and eyes closed.

On opening their eyes, the avengers click had switched tides to colonialism rendering many landless. The effects were far reaching with the most immediate being: immense hunger, slavery and babies being gator bait. All forms of suffering ploughed every corner of the once quiet continent with the colorless mongoloids demanding to be called white (because they felt that white was superior to black). It made them feel boisterous and important

This is the only way I can understand the plight of the black man in the hands of the white man in the recent past .

THE RIPPLE EFFECTS OF CORRUPTION

Corruption is a psychological disturbance so deep-rooted that psychiatric diagnosis cannot address its effects. Yep, anybody that is plundering hard-earned taxpayers money is a psychotic, shallow-minded ingrate who cannot comprehend the math behind amassing ill-gotten wealth to benefit a small nuclear family at the expense of the suffering millions!

Corrupt individuals are the reason we are suffering heat waves, global warming, expansive potholes and lack of pedestrian side walks on road debts to World Bank, IMF and other renegade international money lending institutions whose money is in the pockets of a few rogue bandits purporting to be the wealthiest men around

These selfish bastards have you discussing whom the world owes the trillions and trillions of dollars in debt instead of engaging in continuous, passionate and mind-boggling coitus in your homes. (If you are not losing sleep over the precarious situation of the world economy; may the fleas of a thousand camels infest you and may your hands be too short to scratch)

This vice is a disease toppling jigger infestation and just like the first time you get a jigger; the little prick is so sweetly-itchy that one forgets to remove it. In the end, you walk around looking crippled and since no one wants to come closer to your stunk ass, you think you are okay. The pain of the final infection is what will remind you to seek medical help

Impunity drives individuals into thinking they can plunder and get away with it. Our history on graft has proved that if you can still humongous amounts of cash, Kamiti will be a distant rumour unlike thieving negligent things like lotion and meat from your local butcher. Otherwise, how can we explain the infuriating presence of the Jersey, Goldenberg, Anglo-leasing and more culprits amidst us?

Our complacency on corruption is tantamount to our accent of the vice. It should be a criminal offence to hold a zero rated opinion on corruption! Say something. Do something. Anything. Even burning your privates to raise awareness on the evil ploughing our land.

Corruption is the reason why Samsung opted to set up a multi-billion dollar plant in Ethiopia instead of Kenya. Yes, one of your relatives demanded a huge payout before authorizing the investment in Kenya. Classic example of reaping where you never sowed.

Recently, Imperial bank employees swindled over 29Billion Shillings from its cofers. (Oh boy, a desolate MKenya at the slopes of Cherangani hills is even shocked that Kenya has such Ludacris money lying around just patiently waiting to be looted).

Maybe we do not understand exactly what this means to our staggering economy, livelihoods and welfare. People lost jobs and sources of income supporting a number of families and dependants. A good man aptly says that the world’s wealth is plenty for everyone but not for everyone’s greed.

Kenya Airways and Uchumi are on their deathbed waiting to breathe their last. These once thriving parastatals are closing shop faster than one can spell “crackaladaisical”. There is intermittent loss of revenue to the republic and stakeholders. Indeed, the increased suicide rates and incidencces of insanity can all be blamed on the institutional corruption in the country.

Corruption is driving the hawker menace in the Central Business District and increased incidents of phone and handbag snatching thereof. Most of us have been victims of phone-snatching hence we might want to rethink about our mute stance on the subject.

The hawker selling apples, peas/minji, oranges , pears, sandals/flip flops, mitumbas and is engaged in running battles with City Council Askaris aka kanjo was once a smartly dressed exec. The system just screwed them

Some of us have heard the infamous line “utanunua ama tukutane baadaye” supposed to intimidate us into buying things that we don’t need lest we get mugged! Choke!

The corrupt rebels are not spared either. The good Lord says that if you act like a selfish hyena, then I will let you eat carcass and the remains of the pride; if you act like a cow, I will let you feed on grass. Amassing money that you did not sweat for elevates you to a new realm of evil.

I don’t know how else to explain the fact that a huge man got beat by his tiny wife because he couldn’t tame his wiener or the rise in alcoholism in ‘them’ or heirs killing their siblings and brandishing pangas for things their parents worked so hard to steal from our mouths.

Corruption will be the reason you might never afford real estate or land in the city and its environs.

The cost of corruption is far reaching and cannot be ignored.